Jeff Yoak (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} yoak) wrote,@ 2007-02-06 21:45:00 |
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Of poopies, puppies and pappies
Being a dad is great. Until 20 minutes ago, I was sitting in the living room of my beautiful house, next to my beautiful wife, watching Jim Cramer's Mad Money while my beautiful baby sat on the floor half playing with his Baby Einstein toys and half watching the show, usually whenever Cramer hit the "SELL! SELL! SELL!" button.
It was then that I noticed a certain mal-odor coming from Alex's direction. Kate noticed too, and started to pull him up when I happened to notice the overflow sitting in a small pool around where the baby was sitting. I yelped for her to hold him out. This wasn't just poopies. This was a five-alarm poopie explosion.
"SELL! SELL! SELL!"
We team carried Alex to the bathroom, him giggling wildly all along because, well, he was partially upside-down. Alex giggles a lot. In his position, I would be quite mortified, but he possesses that magical self-confidence required to blissfully continue trying to make the kitty pop up while being covered in used yogurt.
After the team-carry to the bathroom, we worked efficiently together. I held on to a foot in each hand and repositioned baby while Kate attempted to figure out how to get diaper and clothes off without hazmat gear and without turning the house into a superfund site.
Eventually, we get Alex mostly cleaned off and simultaneously ready for a bath. Kate said, "I'll finish up here. All you have to do is throw the diaper away and clean up the floor in the living room." I agreed, pitched the diaper, grabbed the wipes and headed out to the hardwood floor in the living room.
And a miracle happened.
It was completely clean.
I stood there puzzled a moment. The dog sat down next to me and looked equally puzzled. We stared.
I looked at the dog. The dog looked at me.
The dog licked its lips.
So as you can see, my rock-star lifestyle is completely unabated by life as a dad. Can anyone suggest a product optimized for dealing with baby poo doggy halitosis?
Being a dad is great. Until 20 minutes ago, I was sitting in the living room of my beautiful house, next to my beautiful wife, watching Jim Cramer's Mad Money while my beautiful baby sat on the floor half playing with his Baby Einstein toys and half watching the show, usually whenever Cramer hit the "SELL! SELL! SELL!" button.
It was then that I noticed a certain mal-odor coming from Alex's direction. Kate noticed too, and started to pull him up when I happened to notice the overflow sitting in a small pool around where the baby was sitting. I yelped for her to hold him out. This wasn't just poopies. This was a five-alarm poopie explosion.
"SELL! SELL! SELL!"
We team carried Alex to the bathroom, him giggling wildly all along because, well, he was partially upside-down. Alex giggles a lot. In his position, I would be quite mortified, but he possesses that magical self-confidence required to blissfully continue trying to make the kitty pop up while being covered in used yogurt.
After the team-carry to the bathroom, we worked efficiently together. I held on to a foot in each hand and repositioned baby while Kate attempted to figure out how to get diaper and clothes off without hazmat gear and without turning the house into a superfund site.
Eventually, we get Alex mostly cleaned off and simultaneously ready for a bath. Kate said, "I'll finish up here. All you have to do is throw the diaper away and clean up the floor in the living room." I agreed, pitched the diaper, grabbed the wipes and headed out to the hardwood floor in the living room.
And a miracle happened.
It was completely clean.
I stood there puzzled a moment. The dog sat down next to me and looked equally puzzled. We stared.
I looked at the dog. The dog looked at me.
The dog licked its lips.
So as you can see, my rock-star lifestyle is completely unabated by life as a dad. Can anyone suggest a product optimized for dealing with baby poo doggy halitosis?
